Orgasm at lunch ... by: typical on Apr 16 2006 2:15AM in Creative
Well, it was lunch time then, and we were – my friend and I – just closing our respective plates. My greed for the grilled steak and vegetables on my platter satiated, I found myself, while still waiting for him to finish his lunch, concentrating on the other subtle properties of nature. Concentrating that is, on issues that I thought addressed the intellectual characteristics of an individual - which I undoubtedly prided myself to be abundantly gifted with!
But before I get on with those subtleties that were pondered upon in my mind, I need to make it very clear right upfront, that it was indeed orgasm that I had meant. And yet, all those millions of years ago (as it seems to me now) when it came out of my mouth, (as I’ve noticed invariably happening only with me!) it came out as: “Rape is so similar to hunger, no? Once the need is satiated one wonders about the urgency!”
Ok! I got it too – the 'blasphemy' of what was said, unintended as it was! Fine, so it was (as always) only after those golden words had fallen off my mouth!!! And to add to the lead that was slowly settling in my mind since the moment of that realization, my friend - who was perhaps from a more conservative school of thought, looking pitifully pale at my insolence, could manage only a: “How can you be saying things like that???”
Frequently since then though, even I have found myself wondering what the hell it was that I was trying to say!!! Rape and hunger!!! But like I mentioned at that pause in my narrative, it was all about orgasm – atleast in my mind. But I still cringe at the thought of having said something like that! And yes, possibly more so, because I had said that to someone like him! (I still haven’t been able to ‘cure’ my reputation with him!)
But sometime later, in order to ‘correct’ things in the axis of my mind, I tried bringing up this talk with someone else, more matured (as I decided anyone who thought he/she could make sense of my ideas would be!) and less agitated at having to face the ‘truths’ of life. And Voila! There – I got just the response I was hoping for – “Yeah!” said a set of whole popped-out-eyes, right above a wide toothed grin that had somehow suddenly seemed to cover a nose that was previously present! She had, it seems, understood it just the way I hoped to have made her see it!
But through the unintended though understandably sacrilegious nature of that ‘comparison’, I found myself staring at another perspective… the advantage of ‘speaking it out’ that is… it helps, in weird ways! Here’s how…
Remember that algebra sum you thought you understood exactly how the solution was arrived at while watching the teacher break it down on the black board until you actually got down to solving the problem on your own? It is quite like that – the hitches in comprehension ironing out only upon doing (saying or thinking something loud) on your own!
Similarly, once in a while, it takes talking out loud – even about the most blasphemous things, to be able to understand (in ourselves) the truth about those which really are not! And that might help in reclaiming the glory of all that we shoved away previously for the fear of non acceptance – by even those that most of the time don’t even come into our lives. Because sometimes, hearing oneself speak out helps put things back in the right contexts, calming away the threats lurking around in those thoughts, unlike what may have happened in the isolated silences of our mind! It is not only so about Orgasm - it works as true with Class, Culture, Religion, Racism, or any of those points in a discussion that turn out to be 'dead-ends' even before the start of a conversation! (Of course it would help better if you do that with someone who thought alike or appreciated that kind of thinking as much as you did too!)
Likewise, Orgasm in proximity to Rape in my mind, finally showed itself to me as virtuous as it actually is supposed to be – the high point temple of indulgence! And thereon, the traditional cloak of modesty that it was made to adorn in social conversations through giggling whispers or raised eyebrows, giving it the texture of something despicable, shed off from my mind – just like that! In other words, I began seeing it for what it really stood for – for all the pleasures that it could bring while one indulged in it!
I can’t help but think though, that strange as it is, while Orgasm remained shrouded between embarrassed-whispers, leaving it unclaimed even in literature sometimes, Rape got away easily, in the very same gathering, during discussions, in the garb of social concern for pain and injustices. Not belittling nevertheless in any manner the empathy towards those that endure such untellable sorrow, it must still be a bizarre era – this that we live in, where pain and miseries can evoke such extended debates and discussions while pleasures even such as Orgasm are conversed about in undertones of ‘knowing smiles’ or otherwise tossed around into a category for the ‘higher’ intellect!
http://www.sulekha.com/blogs/blogdisplay.aspx?cid=47557
Monday, April 17, 2006
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